gw bakal lepas semua rasa penasaran, sakit ati, dll, tentang dy. gw bakal jadi orang yang beda banget.
biar tuhan yang bales semuanya. jadi gw harus ilangin rasa sakit gw.
uda ga ada tu yang namanya ikatan batin. semuanya bullshit. cuma nyakitin doank. alibi.
karma pasti bakal terjadi nanti.
uda ga ada yang namanya kabur-kabur. semua harus dihadapin. gw akan hadepin dengan tenang n open mind. gw akan anggep semuanya cerita masa lalu. gw bkal anggep semua angin lalu. no more demanding anything bot it anymore.
gw uda cukup puas selama ini soal semuanya.
mungkin suatu hari nanti dy nyadar kalo gw cewe yang setia, rela berkorban, selalu ngalah, rela diomelin, nurut, dan selalu belain dy, ditengah-tengah semua kesibukkan gw. ga ada tuh jaman sekarang cewe yang ga matre kaya gw. walau gw cape, ngantuk, ato sakit, gw tetep temenin dy. gw tetep ngurusin dy. gw tetep setia ama dy. gw tetep nurut ama dy. gw tetep rela dimaki-maki ama dy. gw cuma bisa nangis doank. saking cintanya gw ama dy. ampe apapun yg dy lakuin, bagi gw, itulah dy, gw terima aj, ampe gw ga percaya ap yg temen gw blg kalo dy jalan ama cewe laen, dll. gw lebih percaya mulut dy yg sebenernya bohong n bullshit doank isinya. copycat. dy selalu copy kata2 orang. apalagi dari lagu. selalu. ga ad yg laen. well, life is a song, but it doesn't hafta be like that all the time.
mungkin nanti dy nyadar kalo gw itu bukan "something" tapi "someone" special. gw bukan "thing", i'm a living breathing human. i'm a girl. i'm a really nice girl ever found in the universe. cinta dan sayang gw tulus selalu buat semua orang2 yg gw sayang. ga ad yg dibuat2 n pake rayuan gombal yg cuma copy paste dari lagu ato dari kata2 orang.
mungkin nanti dy akan tau gimana rasanya disakitin ma orang tersayang berkali-kali.
mungkin dy akan ngerti n bisa berubah buat diri dy sendiri dan orang lain.
mungkin nanti dy nyadar kalo cuma gw cewe yang mau bulak balik ma dy padahal uda disakitin untuk kesekian kalinya.
boleh dy ngomong bohong ama gw, kaya, "ga pegi2 1 minggu ini" tapi apa nyatanya? jelas2 temen g ngeliat dy pegi nonton ama cewe kamis malem. sementara dy blg gt ama gw hari selasa malem. kayanya ga ampe 1 minggu tuh.
pasti karma itu bakal balik ke dy. dy bakal sering dibohongin ama orang n dy bakal puxing bgt coz balesan karma lebih parah daripada dosa yang dy buat.
i dunno why i feel this pain inside when he came to me and say, "we broke up just fine, right? why are you avoiding me? can't we be friends?". he doesn't even know what he's doing. he doesn't even know that some people may get hurt by his unconsidered actions. and innocently, he asked that question, "we friends rite?". it's just the meanest thing i've ever heard.
so, i know that that's the way he is. never care about other people. just care about himself. he may say he's close to jesus and goes to the church every sunday, and join the gathering, but if the person himself doesn't understand what is being told and delivered in the process, well, he knows exactly nothing. he only put the information in his brain, but doesn't transfer it to his heart. everything is just like that. gak di resapin. ga di filter. cuma di-save doank di otak, dan ga pernah di lakuin di kehidupan sehari-hari. no implementation of the teachings. it's just an intermezzo for him.
well, hope his sins can be removed someday by his good acts. well, hope he could have one.
i'm gonna continue my life. i'm gonna move on with everything. i'm gonna take those stories as my story of the past. i'm gonna take the positive side, that i just knew that there are people like that, doesn't value love & honesty, and i become stronger after all the cries and hurt inside. may god bless every step i take all the time so i won't fall into any of those unpleasant situations.
